My Niche

And the search goes on as I continue to seek my place in this rapidly changing world.  You might say it should be easy just be yourself.  Or you might ask why even worry about it. I can’t answer for everybody, only me.  I have a need to fit , to be , to belong.  I assume many others feel that same way.  So you say that should be easy.  Just be yourself.

Just be yourself, you say. Sounds simple enough, or is it?  Which me are we referring?  The me,  family expects me to be.  He was such a good and happy kid growing up. And smart too, math and science.  Go to college.  Get that good money job.  You will be a success.  Now don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with hard work and the thing it will buy, but it is not my meter of success.  No, I don’t feel my niche here.

How about the me, friends have grown to expect?  You know that good guy always there for everybody. It’s not easy being what every one expects you to be. In no time you begin to wear thin.  Especially if you are always on the giving side.  Eventually the well runs dry.  No niche here.

Just through the process of elimination I can see the me, I am not.  What is that you say?  One would think by my age I would know me.  Well, that may be,  but look around.  Lots of  people  never find themselves. They wander around lost or living the illusion. Or is that delusion?

So the way I figure I’m right where I need to be. Still on the path to finish that race.  Age and time are not my obstacle.  It’s the years of conditioning hinder my flight.  I must peel away layer after layer because I am sure under all this is the true me.