more than your name

More than a name?  Yes, I am. A name is just the introduction.  The only way  to truly  get to know another person is touch.  Sounds easy enough. Or is it?

I can say  we don’t  really know one another. More than one factor  comes  into play here.   The most common reason is  not taking the time. We aren’t really interested in getting to know another person.  Secondly,  the other person doesn’t want to be known.  The result is the  two remain  strangers.

Now that might be okay for some , But I don’t see that as being all that healthy. WE are social creatures. The human psyche is built for intimacy. That is why I say  we have to reach out and touch  some one .

We must realize  that we are  by nature a complex creature. Each  of  us individuals.  Multifaceted,  there are levels of intimacy  depending on the individual. Have you ever wondered  why there are one you meet and become instant friends.?  Drawn to them  like a magnet.  Then there are others that  you can barely stay in the same room with.. Let alone shake  hands or make eye contact.

Maybe you are thinking  what’s with this hand shaking thing. That’s old fashion. Well, you are right the custom has been around for some time. Way before I can remember. The thing is I am not trying to give you a step by step plan to intimacy. But I have found some things that work for me . Each person is different . Each interaction is different. And we each have to find our own way here.  The key word here is intimacy.

For me a handshake is a good prelude to an introduction.  It breaks the ice  with some one  who would normally not want to be known. It shows that you respect their privacy , boundaries.  And touching that person shows a lot of things if you pay attention. Boldness shyness,   tenderness are just a few things that you can pick up.

Along with a hand shake  I choose to look directly into the persons eyes. The expression “the eyes are the window to the soul “ rings true.  These two thing  speak open to intimacy.

On the flip side if some one is refusing to make eye contact  and a weak hand shake  usually means they are holding back .Keeping you at a distance. The same would hold true if they a are staring you down from a distance arms crossed refusing to shake hands. From there you would decide whether to back off , go forward slowly , or walk away entirely.

I don’t want to advocate rejecting  anyone. There comes a point when you have tried all that you know to get along  with that person and nothing is working .And you  see where it is becoming unhealthy for yourself you have to put some distance between yourself and that person.. You can always leave an open door  for a later time.

Yes we are more than just our name. That is our introduction. Dig deeper there is the body  that houses the soul and the spirit.. And each part needing that intimacy. We all need that touch.. It all begins with a smile , a prayer, and a handshake.