Some Times I Feel…

Some Times I Feel…

Some Times I Feel so lost. It’s like walking along and head on into a snow storm. Pressing on, even though I am unable to see the path before me. What seems to complicate matters  is the inconsistency in the weather. One day clear skies and the next day stormy weather. It’s those cloudy days that throw you off your rhythm. Thinking I am making some headway just to find myself snowblind and wandering off course.

You would think in this time and place I can steer clear of the distractions and jumping over the the obstacles. Maybe it is laziness, fatigue, or maybe ill equipped to deal. It is not a good time to not pay attention. To be perfectly honest with you I think it is a combo of three. I am ill equipped, lacking the skills to fight what might be distracting me. Fighting in my own strength I tire out. That’s where fatigue sets in. Constant bombardment makes me weaker and weaker making it easier just to give in.

It clearly is a time to regroup. Reevaluate my motives,, purpose, and goals. Maybe to set some short term goals. Stepping stones to finish line. There is something to be said about more of a immediate gratification. Those baby steps. I would rather take five baby steps and succeed than to try one giant step and fail.

I have just started listening to a lecture on self-esteem. It is not a new topic, but I guess I have never put much thought into it. Or to cultivate a positive self image. Misinterpreting my low self-esteem for humility. Thinking look at me I am so humble. Instead I am denying myself opportunity to succeed. I must confess it is my  misinterpretation of a biblical concept. Or maybe a better choice of words would be a miss use of a biblical concept. Rather than to accept the fact that I am human, not perfect, and will fail at times. I convinced myself that I am just being humble. Human imperfections are an opportunity to improve. To grow, to evolve  is to be truly alive. Every new step is an adventure. Every new breath in life..