Moody Blues

Moody blues

Don't let the title confuse you  I  not making reference to the sixties band.  Instead I am describing  my mental attitude.   I guess part of it is holiday stress… I kind of get spaced out or more so than normal..

This bit of fog hovering over me… It is complex  I guess what I am trying to do here is sort out my shit. There is something about getting words on a page. It is good for me.  Crazy.

The holidays seems to bring family to mind more so than any other time of the year.  The gathering leaner and leaner. I guess in the past I kept busy with work. Or there was some chick I was hanging out with or friends always around. But it is getting leaner and leaner.

So I am at the crossroads. That place I am so often at. But as usual I'm not picking a direction instead I am allowing myself to be pushed here or there… It is nowhere I want to be.

It rings in my head the words to the song…” Not making a choice you have made a choice.”  

As long as I make no decisions I leave open to go in directions I don't really  want to go in.

I don't feel better yet… Why?  It's like the space between the lines is getting shorter and shorter and each decision more urgent  

There are things I must complete. Too many loose ends. It is all a process. One step then the next. Patience. Okay…

I do have a tendency to overthink things and by the time I got it all figured out the opportunity has passed me by.  Actually  on a few occasions I managed to slide in under the wire. It’s enough to keep me treading water. Not drowning, but not going any place.

I can’t be the only one going through this.  iF NOT THE SAME MAYBE YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES ARE SIMILAR.  fEEL FREE TO SHARE YOUR EXPERIENCES. aND HOW YOU MAY COPE WITH IT. OR REALLY ANYTHING ENCOURAGING AT ALL. aLL COMMENTS WILL BE APPRECIATED. NICK.