Here I go again trying to fit where I don’t fit, being what I don’t want to be, and in general overstaying my welcome. I don’t know if anyone else can relate or even knows what I am talking about. It is being some place thinking I’m needed. A place that I think I are making a difference. But at the same time I feel out of place, on a different page.
I try convincing myself that I can do this. I’m not a quitter and don’t want to give up. So I stick with it past that grace period where I’m tolerated. Mistaking being used for usefulness. Whatever I do meets opposition. Whether I am right or wrong they choose the opposite path.
I could go on and on in this general tone and avoid being specific. I can fictionalize it all I want, but that doesn’t change the fact that it really exists. And I need to draw some conclusions, acting on them. To put it plainly. I have overstayed my welcome. I don’t fit in. I am not on the same page. It is time for me to leave.
What then? It is easy to confess it here on paper, but to act. Man this is one of the hardest things for me to do. I avoid confrontation. What then do I open myself up to whatever comes along? No decision is a decision. Maybe it is time I got some balls about me and jump off this runaway train leading nowhere. At least for me it’s taking me nowhere as well as taking further and further from my true path.
Bottom line It is time, if not past time to move on. Do I feel any better writing this post. Yes and no. I wouldn’t feel totally right till I deal with it.